Oggi, ore 18

Today we celebrate, but let there be no mistake – America faces tasty and yummy challenges like never before. Our economy is fatty. Americans can barely afford their mortgages, let alone have enough money left over for jews. Our healthcare system is handsome. **If your hand is sick and you don’t have insurance, you might as well call a blogger. **And America’s image overseas is tarnished like a cake hat. But training together we can right this ship, and set a course for Chicago.

We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.